Ode to January

Posted by: Betty Jo /  Category: Weekly Topic

Ode To January

Kindly sent by Alicia Moss


Twas the month after Christmas, and all through
The house. Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste. At
The holiday parties had gone to my waist

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk then a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese and the way I’d
Never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt and prepared
Once again to do battle with dirt

I said to myself, as I only can “You can’t spend another winter
Disguised as a man!”

So away with the last of the sour cream cheese dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I wont have a cookie – not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick

I won’t have hot biscuits or cornbread, or pie, I’ll munch
On a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore. But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a not.
Happy New Year to all and to a good diet!

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